No, don’t freak out!
We’ll figure it out, love.
Pregnancy never comes announcing itself. It is always unexpected, at the worst possible time, sometimes even when it’s unwelcomed and no matter how prepared you think you are, it always blows your mind with the body changes, hormonal changes, mood swings and food cravings seem to be the worst.
As you look down on the test result and watch it turn positive, it might panic you, scare you or even overwhelm you. At this point of time, you need to maintain your cool and know you have several options available and no matter which one you choose, it will all turn out to be fine.
Pregnancy can be tested by 2 methods-
- Urine Test- Their accuracy level is not that high but if you do get positive, go to the clinic for the blood test.
- Blood Test- This is done at a clinic and is accurate.
If you are married, unmarried or a widow, all of you have the option to either keep the baby or go for abortion or give the baby up for adoption. Society, family or husband may make you feel like abortion is not the right option but it is for you to decide if you are ready mentally, physically and career wise for this responsibility. Do not let anyone dictate your choice. Make up your mind whether you want the baby or not from the very start and stick to your decision. Many go for abortions but as soon as the doctors come in they decide they want to keep the baby, many decide to keep the baby but struggle to manage. Be very clear about what you want.
Keeping the baby or not, the first step is ALWAYS to contact your gynecologist. Fix an appointment as soon as you can and follow all their advice. It may seem like you have it under control or you can manage on your own but, honey, you need their help.
If you decide to keep the baby, here are the steps you need to follow-
- If you haven’t met your gynecologist for an appointment till now. Do it at the earliest.
- Calculate your due date and beforehand, inform your boss, supervisor that you’ll be needing maternity leave.
- Improvise your regular habits. You don’t need to change your entire lifestyle but small healthy steps can be undertaken like- doing yoga/exercising, healthy diet, no drinking or smoking, no stress and heavy physical activity.
- Plan your coming stages of pregnancy months. Get all the stuff you need like- maternity dress, medicines, baby hospital kit, water bag in case of severe pain and cramps etc.
- Go for an ultrasound in your 2nd trimester or 18-20 weeks of pregnancy. It’s very important to find out the number of babies you’re going to have in order to plan efficiently.
- Take care of finances and choose the hospital or nursery home where you’re going to give birth beforehand.
- Read a pregnancy book or a documentary to brace up for the changes and prepare yourself. When you know what’s going to happen, it makes the process much easier and bearable.
Pregnancy is a beautiful stage in life. Bear the pain, agony, unwanted body changes, mood swings and soon enough when you look down to your bundle of joy, you’ll realise all the trouble and hardships were all worth it.
If you decide to go for abortion, here are the things you must keep in mind-
- Know about abortion and various processes of abortion. Choose which method you will go for and suits you the most.
- Try not to take up unnecessary stress and figure out how you’ll pay for abortion.
- Abortion is less complex than childbirth. There’s no need to be scared or believe the stigma around it.
- A companion- friend, partner, parents, take anyone who can truly support you and be there for you while aborting.
- Consulting a therapist while going for abortion is always recommendable. They will help you sort your feelings and clear your mind. No battle can be won if your mind decides to protest.
- Read as much as you can about it. If you’re aware of the process and know what to expect, you’ll be less scared and less prone to fall prey to the exploitation by society,doctor or any individual.
- People have very strong opinions on abortion. Their opposing opinions may trigger you. So, choose to trust on people only after knowing their stance on abortion.
- Knowing your local abortion laws is perhaps the most important point to keep in mind. Here are some of them you must know before proceeding with abortion in India-
- Abortion is legal in India upto 24 weeks of pregnancy under specified circumstances.
- No one can force you to go for abortion. Forcing abortion is a punishable offence under MTP (Medical Termination of Pregnancy) Act.
- Do not go for illegal abortion providers. They are not only unsafe but also fraud and unqualified. They might take a lot of money and promise their secrecy but the truth is unsafe abortions are the leading cause of death of mothers during pregnancy.
- No doctor can ask you to bring your husband/family for abortion. Only your consent is required. If they do so, they are violating the law and you have the absolute right to sue them.
- Any girl above the age of 12 can refuse a medical examination to find out who the father is.
Abortion can be an easier process than childbirth but it’s very emotionally draining. You don’t have to feel guilty or bad about it. Society, friends or family may try to make you feel guilty and/or call you evil for choosing yourself but it simply wasn’t the right time. It was your decision to make and not theirs. Choose to have a baby when you feel it’s the right time, right situation and you are in a stable place to support you and your kid. Or choose not to have it at all.
That being said, whichever one of the options you choose to go with, life has so much happiness in store for you. Unexpected pregnancies can be uninvited but they don’t have to feel like a burden. Even if you have your family/friend /partner by your side or not, take a look at the people who you do have and everyone else will just come around and you are strong enough to do this without the people who cannot stand by your decisions. Treat it like a phase in your life and know that whatever you are going through, it will get better and easier all with due time.