Mothers are a boon to our society!
A mother is a friend, a parent, a guide, and a teacher to her child.
But in India Mothers are often challenged due to certain stereotypes set by the society which make them struggle to raise their children and embrace who they are. Sometimes friends and family become the toughest critics for a Mother and her Parenting.
Being an “ideal mother” is a struggle they deal with all the time & they are often questioned irrespective of their own ways or choices.
Here is a list of some of the questions or statements Indian Mothers hear in their day-to-day lives, these being the most common stereotypes:
“Prioritize Your Baby “
In India, most of the mothers are expected to prioritize their babies more than anything else. Being a mother is always considered a privilege but that does not mean that you have to sacrifice your identity in order to enjoy the privilege.
“Will you work after the delivery of your baby?”
In most of the cases, this is not going to happen because your family and the society norms will expect you to take care of your baby by staying at home and stop continuing your work. But, in case you work after having a baby, do you think you would have the same importance at work as you had it before?
No, right! This is because in India, people still have this mindset that a mother has to focus more on their baby and hence, the work is going to suffer a lot. This is common for all the industries be it corporates or Bollywood. Actresses are also assumed that they won’t work after they deliver a baby. Don’t know how being a Mother, makes one incapable professionally!
“What are you wearing? Don’t forget You are a Mother”
As a mother, you will always find yourself in a position where you have to think before you wear something. But why you do need to do that? The society keeps pointing out that you are a mother and should choose your clothes accordingly. What is actually this “Dressing up like a Mother”? God knows! Who said short dresses are not for mothers. The Woman in her doesn’t change, then why her way of dressing should change? IT SHOULD NOT !!
“Why you are going out Alone, where’s your kid? “
Indian mothers are always asked to give all their time to their kids. They are expected to sacrifice their personal space and can never have their own time. Why can’t you party with your friends? Why can’t you go alone for shopping?
Our society needs to understand that you can still take care of your baby by being yourself. And these should be your own decisions, no one else should comment on these or judge you for that.
Mothers are expected to be Perfectionists
In simple words, you are only considered an ideal mother if you can do these things perfectly. You need to balance and do everything, be it for the household or for the kids. But, at the end of the day Mothers are also human and no human can be perfect. Society refuses to embrace any imperfections that a mother may have.
Overworking as a Mother
As a mother you have a lot of responsibilities to deal with and that is what leads you to overworking. And honestly, this overworking can lead to some serious health issues later. So Mothers also need a helping hand , comfort and their share of rest.
Stereotype of a Single Mother
As per the Women UN Reports, in India, 4.5% of the households are run by single mothers. But still there are so many stereotypes they had to face in their day-to-day lives- be it some nasty comments due to their married life in the past or a doubt in their ability to handle the child single-handedly, single mothers always have to face challenges in India.
Now it is high time that we start breaking these norms and broaden the minds of the people. Here are some steps to deal with this situation and break the barrier of this stereotype:
1. Mothers themselves have to take a stand first
So all the Mothers in India, be brave and strong enough to stand up for what you want to do, how want your life to be. When you will believe in yourself and stand up for it, it will make a Difference.
2. Awareness of the Society
Encouraging and accepting the facts that it is okay if a mother wants to have their personal time, a mother can work efficiently even after having a baby, a mother can party with her friends whenever she wants and etc. These should be talked about more socially so that it influences and helps to change the mindset of the society.
3. Support of Parents
Parents should do upbringing of their sons and daughters both in a way so that they start thinking in a broader perspective.
4. Ignoring the Unnecessary Judgment
Well yes , as they say ignorance is a bliss, so people may keep on judging you, but if you are not bothered and you do your own thing, no one can really hamper your own peace of mind. So mothers really need to have this in mind.
Now times are changing and society is also slowly and gradually coming out of all these notions and thoughts. Women have become stronger than never before. We all have seen how Kareena Kapoor got back to her work and started shooting soon after delivering her baby. She has broken the taboo that actresses cannot work as a lead after becoming a mother. Roshni Bhatia, an Influencer is a living example of how a Mother can break all stereotypes and Have a Life she wants. There are many such examples though. Look around and probably you can find some. We must take inspiration not just from them but also from their families, partners and people around them.
So to all the Mothers out there, we all know no one can love and take care of your child the way you do and we all know you want the best for your child, but you have your own life too, so come out of the fear of getting judged and learn to ignore the unnecessary taboos.
Now go and Dress up the Way You Want, get back your Work-life, Do not Overburden Yourself, Don’t skip your Me-time and Do whatever you want to Do, Just Be Yourself and Don’t let anything change that!!